My Memoir's Jigsaw Puzzle


 As Logic would have it  There is a Reason for Everything, Simply, because Everything has a Reason RIGHT But, what if there is No Purpose to Reason with? – Then You could say that Logic Has No Reasoning to have Any Meaning, because It's Illogical – So, Can You Dig What I Mean – Jellybean?  


 In my Waning Years of Life – it is quite Evident that I am not an easy Guy to get to know and like, because I am very Different from the Quote  Unquote other Guy for Reasons that I don't Understand myself. – So, It is Quite Puzzling to me in Wondering Why I was Born Here in the first Place – I'm Like a 76 year old Piece of a Jigsaw Puzzle that's never been able to Fit Into a Space to a Place where I Still Don’t Belong – Especially, with the Incompatibility that I've had with Personalities of People to Coexist in a Likewise Accord to the Status Quo – because I am  Unintentionally  Incompatible  in  the Way  that  I  Think,  with  the  Commonality

Alike – to Get to Dislike. 



• My Biggest Inadequacy has been My Inability to Bond with Good and Decent People – Putting me Out of Place from the Beginning – that would Follow Through to my Waning Ending – Indeed, the Mind is like a Powerful Hard Drive that Computes to the Memory Bank of a Lifetime – Until it Crashes into the – Death Do You Part – Cycle of the File – that Can No Longer be Saved on the Memory of my Hard-Drive – to Compute – Further Disputes – of Life's Challenges.


• All I can say is that – It's Been My Mind Over Matter of Battle's that I have Fought While Growing Up into this Competitive World of Survival – And as a Result, – I Don't Allow ANYONE to Look Down on me – For ANY Reason – by the Way I've been Seasoned THROUGH the Conviction of my FAITH in GOD and HIS SON, JESUS CHRIST Throughout the Many Battle's that I Waged to Defend the Honor of my Conviction – Thus Self-Respect – And Yes, you can Easily Guess Due my Actions that I am a Self Protective Defensive Guy with a Positive Mental Winning Attitude that Often Gets Disrespectfully Misconstrued – into being Rude – with their Offensive Thinking – Again, Into a Constant Battle to Defend the Integrity of  Who, Why, and the Way I Am Who I Am – without QUESTION, – Because I've Earned My Way – to Whatever I Truthfully Say!     


• Again, to Elaborate, Call that what you may, but I call it – The Integrity of a Positive Mental Attitude with Proven Ability – to Motivate Success – to be the Best – to the Health of Self-Respect, But, Unfortunately, Most People Don't Get It – Misrepresenting me into an Ego Classification from the Ignorance of Some who Don't Know what Time it is that Makes me Tick From the Inside Out of Me – for Being Me of Sincere Honesty  In Whatever I Say or Do – and Not to Be Viewed to be Misconstrued as Bragging – even though I've Earned it – a Positive Mental Attitude isn't about Bragging – It's About → Acronym P.H.O.N.E., – The Farmer In The Sell, – The Seven Steps towards Achievement, –Achievement, – Media, – Now, if you call this Bragging. – What do you call Michael Jordan and or Larry Bird 2 of Former Basketball's Best?, – Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers 2 Active Quarterback's of Footballs Best – and or Jack Nickless and Tiger Woods 2 of Former Golf Balls Best? – Every One of These Guys – have their Own Trophies or Rings to be Proud of, Simply because They were Winners, Due to Their Positive Mental Attitude To Be the Best from all the Rest! – Well, I was in the Same Category in Sales. – Again, Read the Links that I Wrote that was Produced by me of What the Integrity of the Positive Mental Attitude Produces to Lead You To, Especially when You've Had No Coach for Training and with All of the Rules Bent Against You! – NO! – I've never had the Opportunity to be Coached, but Than Again, I've Never Needed It. – If you Don't Decern – You'll Never Learn – What the Benefits of a Positive Mental Attitude will Do and Earn You. 


• Again, In Retrospect of a Disrespectful Manner of Choosing – I Don't Claim to be Perfect, but Perfect is my Unrealistic Goal – being that I am Human – That Occasionally Makes Mistakes and sometimes Bad Ones, but I Believe what I Say and Say what I Believe, through the Integrity of Truth. – You see, There is a Difference Between an Honest Mistake than a Lying Fake – brought on by Dishonest Thinking


• Look, when it comes down to it – for an End Result – I Don't want my Head to be Held Down when I Die – I Want it to be Held Up High – Facing the Sky – to Where Most People Won't Even Give it a Thought – to My Personal Reason of WHY


 Poetically, to Further Elaborate – I Think that this Essay will be more about Trying to get to know and Explain Myself – to Myself – for Whom, Why and the Way that I’ve Always Been as a Combative Person – Who’s Never been able to Socially Fit into a Society, Respectively – First of all, Deep Down Inside of me I Know that I was a Mistake of Coming into this Cruel Shit Ass World In the First Place – Controlled by GODLESS-Unethical-GovernmentalShit Ass-Evil People - All for the Shame – of Selfish Gain, – through the Devil's Guidance into the FIive Fingers of Evil of, – Money, Power, Greed, Ignorance and HateBut Worst of all – are of All of the Mindless Minions that Follow Them – in Lieu of a Combative Attitude – on the Wrong Side of the War – in the Battle Being Fought Between GOD and the Devil. The thing is that – it is the Human Species that Are Heartlessly Cruel to one another, but Worst of All, Are of All the other Species on our Planet Earth – that's at Mercy of We, the Human Species! – That Has Only Gotten Worse – Century after Century Unto Today of, 2022. 


I have to put this in for those of  who are Loyal to the Republican Party. – That it isn't the Evil of the Pile of Shit such as – Donald Trump and His Lover, President Vladimir Poopen – as to the Biggest Threat to our Democracy. – NO! – It Is Indeed, the Republican Party that I was once a Part of – a Party of Respect! – Well, Who would've ever thought Since our Declaration of Independence was Signed of Their About-Gace into Disgrace? – But, Again, Histories Truth Doesn't Lie, – but Donald Trump's – Control Over Their Compulsive Souls – Sure the Hell Does – Just as He Once was as Lucifer in HEAVEN – over the Souls of the Angels that He Conned – into Being His Ignorant Mindless Minions. – NO!He Hasn't Changed a Bit with His Actions – Since He Was, Lucifer – only He, Donald Trump Got Much Stupider as Satan, the Devil Being One of the Same with His Shameful Lane Brains Who Does His Havoc of Works. – NO! – 2 + 2 Doesn't Add Up – To The Word of For. – Add It Up for the True Score – that  Shouldn't Ignore. – Look, if you have kids and Grandchildren and for Whatever Reason that you Continue to Stay Loyal to what was Once a Percentage of Integrity Minded Thinkers of what is now Donald Trump's, Republican Party –  can Kiss your Kid's and Grandchildren's Lives away from Their Democracy into a Plutocracy of Autocrats – Just like DonaldTrump's – Lovey Trump_and_Putin_number_one.jpg Dovey, " VladimirPoopen's" Pile of Shit! – If you are in fact a mindless minion Trumpion – then you should be ashamed of yourself for betraying your kid's and Grandchildren Lives – Consider China and the Russians Autocratic Governments – Well, that is Exactly what Donald Trump Wants To Be – as to Get Rid Of Our Democracy – Like He Deviously Tried To Do. – this Guy has been a Lying Cheat His whole damn Life in the most Disgraceful Way's – even the Innocence of Children – Indeed, one could Write at least a 100 page Ledger of the one by one Evil Deeds that He Has Done to Everyone of His Victims throughout His Wretched Life.


 Example, if you Should See an Elephant Hiding Behind or in a Tree – to Ambush you for your Scalp – For-Profit of Selling to Their Own Species (Human) and or Simply For the Sport of It. – Hell, we almost Completely Wiped Out the Buffalo for their Hide and Let their Carcass Rot Right Where they Slathered them – in the old wild West. – I could Go On and On and On to List all the Heartless Cruelty that Has Been Done in the Name of Evil that only the Devil Admires and Desires From His Control Over Our Souls to Accomplish His Goals of Havoc of Destruction on our Struggling Planet Earth – Every Since our Birth. – NO!  just can't Deny that History Doesn't Lie – to the Reason Why – in the Battle between Good and Evil – in the War Between GOD and the Devil. – for It Is – what It Is – and Was What It Still Is – in the Eye of the Storm – Ever Sense Since We Were Born. – only is Gotten Worse – to the point of being Out of Control – to where Only GOD Can Straighten Us Out – by Taking Control – Over our Souls.


Look, I Remember having this Dream when I was about 10 years old. – This Dream was about me Flying through Space where I Completely Felt like I Belonged as a Part of it. – Indeed, if you go out at Night when the Stars are Clear and Bright, especially with a Full Moon – You can see all around you with Plenty of Inherent Natural Light. – Even though the Stars are Reflecting Down Upon You.


• Now if you were to Think of Speed Limits in Terms of Modern-Day Vehicles – You would think of Speed on the odometer Between Zero to 120 Miles an Hour with Controlled Speed Limits. – Well, in my Dream – I was Able to Travel at the Speed of Light in Flight without a Spacesuit to where ever I Wanted to Go and still Stop in Time at the Screech of a Dime to have Lunch  while Floating with the Stars that Surround ALL Around me with the Stars at All Angles to my Sight with Their Light in Flight – Again, I could Fly Like a Blink of an Eye to Where Ever I Wanted To Go – Sort of like Hopping into a Car to go Sightseeing anywhere you wanted to Go on a City Street, Highway or Country Road – taking in the Views – at Your Own Discretion of a Legal Speed – in Terms of Gravitational Earth Minutes to Hours to get from Point A to Z.


I remember Seeing this Awe-Inspiring kind of Whitish Glow from an Outlying Distance that Caught My Eye to the Point of where I Couldn’t Take My Eyes Off of it, because it was so Fascinating that I had to See with a Close View of what I was Looking at. – Of course, I was Able to get there within that Blink of an Eye of actually Seeing what it was. – So, When I got to the Glow of what Looked like an Iridescent Beautiful Haze or Fog that Cleared Up the Further in to where I Started Seeing this Huge See-through Dome Like Structure that sort of Looked Like a Mall Inside of it Stretching as Far as the Eye could see with No End in Sight – Full of Humanlike beings that I could see Walking Around Everywhere as if it were a City like Mall of Businesses, Stores and Apartments etc. that were All Attached to one another. – With Families with Kids Walking Around in them like a Normal Family would here on our Humanoid Planet Earth. – Well, they were able to Open the Doors of Their Apartments – into a Corridor of Street like Walkway Alleys that was about the Size of one of our Two-Lane Streets – out into about an Incredible 12 Lane Freeway in the center of it – Designed for Walking Only.


 There were No Vehicles of any Sort – Not even Scooters or Bicycles to get Around, there were No Dangers to Fear from Fear Itself, that we have to Live with Every Single Day Here On Our Planet Earth to worry about, because the Devil Didn’t Exist There – to Destroy the Their Tranquility. – No, they were all Walking Around – as if they were in a HUGH Shopping Mall with Divided Stores – like you would see in one of Our Larger Malls – like the Mall of America in Minneapolis Only with No End in Sight etc. – The thing is, all of the people were like a Silhouette of that Beautiful White Glow – where you could See the Outline of Their Full Features without any Color to them. – Again, Everything Around Them was of the Same Indescribable White-ish Glow – with No Color – when Looking into this Dome from the outside into a City with No End in Sight – I was Actually Able to get Close enough to Touch the Outside of that See-through Dome like Globe – to where They Could See Me too. 


• To make a long story short – They Led me to an Opening to where I could get in to be Amongst them – they Welcomed me in. Where We were able to Communicate with each other in Likewise Understandable Conversation? – I remember that they had Very Welcoming, Friendly, Likable; Kind Personalities that made me Feel very much at Home like being able to Fit in as to Being Equally One of Them.


I actually Felt like a Celebrity with Them following me around with Lots of Attention, because I was the Only One and Thing that had Any Color – In the Whole Environment PERIOD! – of which Really made it Impossible for me to Blend and Fit in Fashionably, but that Didn’t Make Any Difference to them – However, after Spending what seemed like a considerable amount of Time with them Like Being on a Vacation – I was Ready to Leave and Getting Anxious to Returning Back to Traveling into Space Enlight of taking in the Sights Again – They Begged Me To Stay – and that’s when I Woke Up from that Incredible Dream. – But I would Love to go back into a Sequel to Continue the Travel of My Place in Space. – But I know that I would Return Back to that Beautiful Place of Friendly Stuff that these Personalities were made of. 


• But, You know, from my Younger Life of Strife of about 10 years old – As Ludicrous as this may Sound – I Had that Very Same Dream – Once More – Not too Long Ago – In these Waning Years of Life of in my 70's – of which makes me Wonder if it Wasn’t a Dream at All, because it Seemed So Ludicrously Real, but even so, – If Given the Choice – to Choose again from what I know of this Place Inhabited with so much Evil in people – I would Rather to have been in the Serenity of Out There in that Place in Space – Where I Felt Home and Safe – than Being Here in this Place – where Everything Still Feels Unreal – Like it’s Gone Wrongfor so Long  to Where I’ve Never Belonged – with Pif I were ineople!


• NO! – if I were Looking Down on this Place, called Planet Earth – with All of It's Earthlings  like I did with the Peace-loving Serenity of that other Place in Space, Called the White Powder Puff of Indescribable Stuff – in Outer Space – I would in Reverse Think of this place called, Planet Earth with All of it’s Earthlings Living on it – as Destructive Horrible Beings that are Literally Destroying it – Piece by Piece – through the Stupidity of their Actions and Inactions to do anything about it! – Sadly, with all things Considered, I would Look Down and Think that this Place called Planet Earth – is a Very Risky Dangerous Place to Visit, Let alone Stay, because of the Ignorance of its Inhabitants – to Destroy Everything that's GOOD and Decent on it – including each other!  – Again, Remember, that I've Already said that Nothing will be Personal in what I Write – I'm just Writing in General to how I Feel about people – who Purposely Turns Their Backs on what is RIGHT from Wrong and GOOD from Bad, thinking that leads to Evil Behavior – if taken seriously as I do – with All things considered, – When you JUST Think and Consider of Donald Trump's Scale of the 70,000,000+ Cult Like Mindless Minions – doing the Evil of His Decisions – Then You've got to Realize that – we are Witnessing – what can only be Described as – Donald_Trump_-_Bible_prophecy.jpg – and then the Joke Is Going To Be On a – "Hell-Of-A" Lot of People – Who Didn't Get IT



 "Growing Up Was Hard For Me To Do


Designed, Composed and Written by, Me

Donald Lee, Johnson


The Jigsaw Puzzle